By some miracle, or perhaps as a result of an oversight,
Radio 4 still speaks English some of the time but what,
in heaven’s name, is happening to the FUTURE TENSE ?

We are told that “Next week, the United Nations publishes
a report” and “In a year from now, Jenny gets married”.
These things are expected to take place in the future, for
goodness’ sake, yet the PRESENT tense is used.

Whatever happened to the word WILL – as in “Next week,
the United Nations will publish a report” and “In a year
from now, Jenny will get married” ?

Is there a cupboard in Broadcasting House filled with wills
and shalls all cowering in terror while a Commissar of Tenses
threatens them with an eraser ? “Oi, you there, with the
double Ls. Shut up or I’ll rub you all out permanently !”

Dear grumpy friends, gird yourselves. Raise your angry
banners and take a stand for our precious tenses. Otherwise,
the rot will spread and, before you knew it, you will had found
it difficult to made yourselves understood.

David Wickes